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Oaken's Eleven


You want to enter the Boasting Contest at Afternoon of Fun, but, uhh… your voice doesn’t carry well from inside the barbute.

Or you think it would be totally way cool to have someone introduce you on the listfield the way Geoff Chaucer introduced William Thatcher in “A Knight’s Tale.”
The dude totally pwned, man!

Or you want to praise your lady’s virtues publicly, but … well… okay… let’s be honest, you kinda spaced out on English Lit and you Just Don’t DO Poetry, oh-KAYYY?!

We’re here for you.


Oaken’s Eleven

Members of Oaken's Eleven

photo credit: Llg

Members of Oaken's Eleven - Why Aren't there Eleven? Dammit, Jim, We're Bards, not Mathematicians

The most merciless, fierce and devastating band of mercenary bards in the Known World!

Available for a nominal fee
Negotiable ‘twixt the bard and bardee.

Several members of the bardic community of Northern Oaken have selflessly volunteered (*A-HEM!*) agreed to offer their renowned skills of composting, composing and/or presenting prose and/or verse that is very nearly guaranteed to leave your opponents weak-kneed and lily-livered, and your lady quite probably almost very extremely impressed, if you take my meaning and I think you do, nudge nudge wink wink saynomore!

You want Bawdy? We can bring the bawdy, buddy!
Lyrical? We could make Willie Shakespeare weep oceans of tears.
Boldly boastful? By the bucketful!
Slyly skillful, skillfully sly,
Helpfully serving up double-entendres in double-helpings,
Intimating and implying imposing impressiveness
On your part.

You provide the incidents and accidents,
we’ll provide the hints and allegations.

Contact any of the bards listed below to arrange terms. (Note that separate arrangements may be made for composition and presentation. Fair’s fair, eh?)

Cherise of Cleftlands

Ursula Mortimer

Tyzes (Zsof) Sofia

Llywelyn Glyndwr

Juliane Bechaumpe

Ulfr Gangler

Brendan O Corraidhe

Robin McCauley

Tarmach Yehuda

Kari Garanhirson

This week only!

Special on sonnets – six for two pieces of eight

(Petrarchan slightly extra)